Tomorrow is the day I get my wisdom teeth out. I'm loaded up with three (3) bottles of pills, I have three (3) days off, and I'm prepared to eat soft foods and watch movies for those 3 days straight. Happy Valentine's Day, Renata. Here's some codeine. Drown out the pain.
On Saturday I bought three new CDs. This is a new thing. I haven't bought CDs for probably a year or two, which is a damn shame because gosh, buying CDs is fun! I just remembered this. I bought The Dudes Brain, Heart, Guitar, Feist Open Season, and Swan Lake Beast Moans. This is the cold comfort of the in-between, a sad sorry state as I'm waiting around for you.
I want to be able to get out of my comfort zone and to stop being so afraid of real life that I pretend I don't care. Because I do, I really, really do. I can't even begin to imagine what's ahead for me.
And now:
To a friend,
...It's only taken you 3 months to realize that I still exist, that I'm here living and breathing just like you. You always do this, and expect me to just come right back, when it's convenient for you, when you need me again. But what happens when I don't need you anymore? Do you remember those days we spent? I always wonder how much any of it meant to you, those nights we'd go to Hockley and sit under the stars, and talk and talk. The endless miles in the car, crossing the country. The time was ours, always ours... I knew the day would come, the day you'd ask me in not so many words to bring you back into my life. I don't know anymore. You're never who I think you are. You're a master of your craft.
I'll stay in time, and watch you pass by.
Love, Renata
Isn't it just? Maybe one day I'll get to actually send this to you.
