Deserts & Darkness

It's another one of those mornings where I have an endless pot of coffee at hand and time to myself. It's one of my rare days off. I'll be working 45-50 hours a week for the next month, with some days off here and there, until I give my notice. That's right! I'm quitting! The last 10 months of my life have been spent (with exception, of course, for my month away) in a consumer-driven, artificially-lit, stale-air circulated mall. It feels like some kind of waste. But what else is work? Ideally, I would've been working outside this summer, as a camp counsellor, landscaper... Anything, really. I've been so starved of the lovely summer air that I take any chance I get to be outside.

Last night, I walked my dog as the sun dipped behind magnificent thunderheads to the west. The air in Calgary has been uncharacteristically humid (which does NOTHING for my hair) and I watched carefully for coyotes as we walked through a school field. I love that spot, because I can see the lights of downtown, the mountains, Canada Olympic Park, and so much more, like a 360 degree IMAX movie. I watched the lightning gather as we walked home. It's been hot and stormy here for the past 5 or 6 days, with houses in the city getting struck by lightning and flash-floods.

I have a hard time believing that it's almost August. Time has been flying. I'll be 21 in less than 2 months, and as of September 6th, I'll have lived in Calgary for an entire year. I'm hoping to get back to school sooner than later, but there is so much more I want to do. It all comes down to money, of course, and I will have to decide. I'm hoping to visit Ontario for a couple of weeks in September because I miss my friends so terribly. That is the only thing I don't like about living so far away: that I'm so far away from almost everyone I care so much about.

And, last but not least:
Saturday, July 21st: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
Even that's enough to make me quit my job.

Infinity's As Near As It Is Far

Here I am, back after a long hiatus! I apologize for the lack of blog entries for the last month... I've been working, uninspired, and otherwise occupied. It feels like eons since I was in Europe, and I miss it more than is humanly possible. Even though it seemed like work and was so exhausting at times, the monotony of everyday life is even more so. I'd love to be away again, even if it's just in a lakeside cabin with good food, friends, and some old-fashioned partying. It's summer.

This week begins the Calgary Stampede! People have started rampaging the store where I work for plaid, denim, and cowboy hats. It's nice to come home after a full day of hard work and have a rest, because I know I'll be back at it soon enough (for example, tomorrow morning. Work, eat, rest, sleep, work)... I've begun an obsession with crossword puzzles (usually I try to fit them in at work). I'm trying to keep afloat with all this activity, as well as get in some quality runs and time to myself. I haven't even been writing or photographing (both of which I hope to catch up with soon).

Last night I watched Donnie Darko (647th time for me.. probably) and I got this wonderful, reassuring feeling from it. I think I've accepted fully that it's true, every human being on this earth dies alone, and I'm not afraid. What if the world were empty? We live our lives so entertwined.. But what else is there for us? I've been questioning my existence lately and as always, am experiencing several existential revelations. Watching Donnie Darko helps.

It's one of those hot summer nights where I'd love nothing better than to fall asleep under the stars. I don't know where my life has gone, how is it already July? What's next? I want to keep this month the same, live it a couple times before I'm ready to let it go. I don't want my summer to disappear. Come, friends, and we'll go live in a cabin by the lake, days in the sunshine and summer neverending.