A Spinning Top

There is a place I go near my house where I can sit and feel the world breathe in and out. I go here at night, while walking my dog, and listen to my ipod. And I take a break from the purgatory that is my daily life. I hate waiting more than I hate
"president" bush (and that's a lot), and it's been all I've been doing lately. My house is thisclose to being sold, and if it is, we will be moved out by September first.

I sit in my place, which is at the top of a steep hill on my old high school's soccer field, and look at the life moving within my line of sight. Usually it's a few cars, late at night, and the breeze on my face. It's streetlights and traffic lights and the sky, which is, as expected, dark and expansive, oftentimes filled with stars obscured by light of the town. I sit here and ponder, and I'm truly alone, so much that I can feel it surrounding me like water.

Tonight, as such nights allow, I listened to nostalgic songs from last summer. It made me feel complicated and sad and hollow and wonderful and hopeful and unattached. It reminded me how quickly things can change, and have changed, and how I hate missing more than I hate waiting, which is a lot.

Tonight, I could see time rush by, till I could see the fall, a new neighbourhood with a new place to sit. I only hope that there, I won't feel my hollowness as much, and I hope I'll be able to forget the sadness and move on in my life. Because there is nothing I hate more than regret. I hate regret more than I hate missing or waiting or president bush. and those are a lot.

Down and out, guys. I am down and out.



Next up: Why I Am An Escapist.