The weather is already cooling, and camp is turning into a dream. I find lately that I prefer my camp friends over my old friends, not for any real reason other than the fact that I just spent the last 9 weeks of my life with the same people, the people that know me now, and know the real me. We have a whole summer in common, a summer that tried our patience, left us perpetually exhausted, and thrilled us. We revel in the memories of that time, and the memories of each other, and wish we were together again. Camp allowed us to leave our external worries until the end of the summer, and allowed us to leave the real world behind for a while.
The thing I'm really struggling with lately is not loneliness, as I'd feared, but rather balancing those summer relationships with current life. I forget how far away everyone is, and when I remember, it's like a punch in the chest. I don't know when I'll see most of them again, and it's even harder when I know I'll be moving even further away. I still dream of them. I still dream of the breeze at camp, off the lake.
I'm listening to Coldplay's Parachutes tonight, and it reminds me of the fall of Grade 11, when I first starting listening to this album obsessively. Before they were lame and the next big thing. It's the cool weather and the sweaters, and reminds me of high school and cross country team practice. And chocolate Vector bars, which used to eat on the 20 minute walk to school as breakfast.
The one thing that this cool weather makes me wish?
That I was going back to school. Moving into my new place with my roommate, preparing for classes, partying before the real work begins. Can't have one without the other, and that realization helps me understand the full brunt of my decision to leave school for a year.
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Why My Camera Deserves To Burn In Hell.
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