Seeking Solace In Science

Tonight, I walked home 2 hours straight from the mall, in the soggy snowy streets and with the foggy sunny sky turning into moony darkness. I walked for no reason, I could've taken the bus or gotten a ride, but I mostly needed the time to think and wallow. I needed my feet to keep moving in order to keep from imploding. I stopped at Chapters and bought a book on quantum physics and another on syncronicity, and got a soy peppermint mocha. I got home, felt a bit better, burned an awesome CD (track list below) and sat down to read by the fire.

I've become quite depressed recently and sometimes it feels as if nothing will make me happy again. It feels as though there is nothing keeping me afloat except for my friends, because I know they care about me. I feel really numb most of the time. So, technically, I don't feel at all. I can only hope it will get better with time. I hope I won't continue to sink deeper.

Wallowing Playlist (good for wallowing, depression, or just enjoying being melancholy):

1. World Waits by Jeremy Enigk
2. It's In Your Blood by Lydia
3. Lovely & Blue by Ryan Adams
4. Golden Star by My Brightest Diamond
5. Crowd Surf Off A Cliff by Emily Haines & the Soft Skeleton
6. Hold On, Hold On by Neko Case
7. Summertime Feat. Billie Holiday & Louis Armstrong
8. Set The Fire To The Third Bar by Snow Patrol Feat. Martha Wainwright
9. Waltz Moore by From First To Last
10. Trouble by Coldplay
11. Slow Dancing In A Burning Room by John Mayer
12. I've Been Thinking by Handsome Boy Modeling School Feat. Cat Power
13. December (Demo) by Regina Spektor
14. You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol
15. Lines Bleed by Pony Up!
16. Airbag by Radiohead
17. Radio by The Silent Years

Guten nacht. I'm ready for a sleep. I'm ready for nothing at all.