I can so clearly remember this time last year- it seems like no time has passed. Except now, I've graduated, I live across the country, I live with my boyfriend, my friends are far away, and my life has taken a 180. I still feel the winter blah (mindnumbing fist clenching quiet loud darkness with no hope) that I did last year, though not to the same degree. I am so grateful to not be sitting in the library trying to write papers, thinking only of other things, trying to force myself to focus. I don't miss the dry dusty snowlessness of Peterborough last winter, where the only entertainment was located inside nearby houses on weekend nights, or the softly lit and loudly sounded bars downtown. It's so funny how that sad winter blossomed into one of the most beautiful and hot summers in Ontario since I was a kid- as if the world were fighting back.
I now yearn for spring to come, daring the sun to rise before 8:30am, when I have already been awake for 2 hours in complete darkness- like an unreality or alternate life my netherself would be living... And for a warm breeze on my face, the sun, bare legs, beers on patios. And beautiful dawn..
No comments:
Post a Comment