I'm not sure if it is pertinent anymore. You know how things seem to fade after a good night's sleep? This is one of those.
I am disliking things. Lots of things. Things like my chubby thighs, my inability to sleep, my contacts burning my eyes, boys who have drifted away quietly but very, very quickly, my past mistakes. I don't regret. I only wish I had thought things through a little better at the moment, any moment, the moments that define my existence. It's really the different medium that is allowing me to share my thoughts so freely, restrictive as livejournal is. Livejournal made me censor myself, afraid to show how I really felt, disallowing myself to speak more than half truths. Only for the pure reason that every entry I wrote showed up on someone's Friends page, and people that I didn't necessarily wish to read my private thoughts had full access.
RENATA'S LIFE ALL-ACCESS
Just like a MuchMusic special. Call me Ashlee!
For now, though, screaming music does me just fine, and once I get these circular discs of plastic off my eyeballs, I will be a much more content person. This doesn't mean I will stop picking at blackheads on my face, no sir, because that is one thing in life that gives me great pleasure. Much like the warm caress of another or a bite of sinfully dark chocolate.
Seriously. I do like the warm caress of another, sometimes. I won't deny it. But often it leads to posts starting with the words "I am disliking things", AND WE DON'T WANT THAT ANYMORE, DO WE?!
And honestly? I think I'd like to stop having fucked-up dreams. Maybe. Or are they providing my obviously insane subconscious mind a release? I'll get back to y'all on that one. Now, it is goodnight. Once I can get my goddamn wireless internet to connect, and can actually publish this post. ANGRY FACE!
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