Wake Up.

I'd like to say that there could be nothing more than this, my blue screen life and one-meal days. Want to sit out in the sunshine?

Contemplating how I still can't have you and how nothing has changed. I don't know what you are to me, half-closed eyes and falling asleep holding hands, waving goodbye.

Last night was my last night of the school year to drink and be merry with my most favourite people. The pattern continued, a pattern that started at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve, something that was sure to shape the course of my year. And so far, it has proven to do exactly that. However, patterns break, patterns falter. I'm sure this one will be no different.

This day is one I'd wish to spend outdoors, the April breeze on my tired face and the farmer's tan I collected yesterday evened out, so that I can wear sleeveless shirts again. Sometimes I am reminded of things that happened at this time, years ago, like when I find the CD my boyfriend made for me in Grade 11, to listen to on our way to prom. The songs from that CD remind me of that summer.

And I've been writing this for hours now. Time to send off.